I’ve always thought that I might die young. (Perhaps I will, depending what you consider to be young.)
Maybe it’s the (false) romantic idea of it. You know, all these great artists, politicians, and revolutionaries who’ve died. But of course, dying young doesn’t mean I’m going to be remembered. I’ll just be another dead person.
Maybe it’s because I wonder about the point of living. We’re all going to die anyways. And people aren’t exactly nice. We spend most of our adult lives working. I spend at least 8 hours a day with people I can get along with, but honestly care very little for, save for one or two. Why bother?
Recently though, I suddenly feel like I want to live forever. Not in some narcissistic way -at least I don’t think. I want to live forever because I’m curious. I want to know. I want to see.
I want to find out what happens. I want to find out what happens to us. Will we ever make it to Mars? Will aliens ever make contact? Will the Communist Party rule China forever? Will Arsenal ever win the League again? What will happen if this global warming doesn’t stop? What happens when oil is really finished? Will people stop flying? When will electric cars really take over? Will they ever find the theory for everything? Will McDonald’s exist till the end of time? Will humans still be around when the sun implodes? Will we colonise another planet? Will we kill ourselves off? What new products will Apple come up with? Will Hong Kong ever get a competent Chief Executive?
There is so much to do, so much to see, and it’s impossible to do it all in one lifetime. Our lives is a compromise. A series of choices. You give something up so that you can experience something else. I gave up everything for Nasty. Nasty chose everything else over me. They’re choices that we make, and sometimes they are painful. But I’m happy. I sit and I dream of all the things I have yet to do. I wonder if I’ll ever get there.
It’s odd as this is all about how we’ll never know everything and see everything we want, yet I am hopeful. I hope that when I die, someone will still come and talk to me, and tell me what’s going on, whether the aliens have come yet or if Arsenal’s won. I won’t live forever, but tonight, I feel hopeful.