I’m not sure if I believe in God. But I firmly believe that there is a deep dark crevice somewhere at the bottom of our planet where all my hair-ties and lip balm most inevitably, slowly, slip to and get eaten up.
Creatures live there. The greedy little beings mostly devour my hair-ties, never to be seen again.
Whereas for the lip balms, they don’t really have a need for them. But they use them to play torturous and dangerous games with me. Whenever I need them, like on holiday, on a beach, or on a hike, they are never to be found. The evils ones take them and then only to place them in a different bag to surface immediately after I’ve finished needing them.
They’re mean I tell you. Perhaps an evil species bred by the lip balm industry, for I usually end up buying yet another stick. SPF-labelled. Protection from the sun. And what would you know, this brand new stick will then yet again disappear until the end of my holiday.
It’s some powerful evil force, ladies and gentlemen. Believe it.