Donna D asks me what I’m afraid of. At risk of having someone hang me up in a glass-bottomed box 20 stories up filled with cockroaches – I’m afraid of many things:
My hovel is on the 9th floor. I refuse to stand too close to the edge of the open corridor of our building, lest I be sucked into thin air by the, uh, jet stream of a passing pigeon.
If you ever get the chance to go anywhere high and mildly exposed with me, beware that once we get high enough (or the impression of high enough), I will get down on my knees and start crawling around on my hands and feet. I’m not tall but I’m convinced that taking away my own height and clinging onto the ground will make me feel a little bit safer.
Any higher and I’ll start wimpering.
My friends refuse to go to theme parks with me. They think I’m a waste of money.
You know those girls that if you put a creepy-crawly of any kind on them, they will jump and flap their hands around and scream? I’m one of them. I will lose any and all forms of inhibition.
I can stand in goal and take a hit. But fool around with me with a cockroach and I will never speak to you again.
They ALWAYS lie. “This might hurt a little” in reality always translates to “THIS WILL HURT SO FUCKING BAD YOU’LL WISH YOU’VE NEVER BEEN BORN.”
They never have any good news and they always bring pain.
The shrill metalic whirl! The smell of disinfectants! *shudder*
Deep water is really just heights disguised.
I don’t like being afraid of things, not especially when they prevent me from doing things I want to do. I like climbing because I like the physical challenge. But each step up terrifies me, and each glance down makes me gulp with fear. I refuse to freeze and I keep pulling up, but it still scares the shit of out me everytime. Yet I still do it.
Deep water is the same, but in many ways worst. Here you can’t even breathe as you do normally. Unlike climbing, you can’t just bail and let go and someone will catch you. If you let your fears overcome you while scuba diving, you’re pretty much screwed.
For nearly all divers, diving is soothing and relaxing. For myself, each dive begins as an ordeal; the water is something to overcome. It’s a challenge to relax but I do get to it eventually. This is as close as I will get to experiencing a world entirely different to ours and it’s definitely worth the effort.
So here I am, chillin’ in Kuala Lumpur yet again, but this time, I’m hanging out until my onward flight on Tuesday, for a few days of diving at Sipadan in Sabah, one of the top dive destinations in the world. News is lower water temperatures have brought hordes of hammerhead sharks to the area and if we’re lucky, we’ll get to catch sight of them. Fingers crossed. :D