This guy sat next to me on the bus home the other night. For the entire 1 hour ride, he sat bent over in that airplane brace position, one shoulder half leaning on me. He seemed like he was trying to sleep with a severe stomach ache. Whatever.
Exactly one stop before mine, he suddenly raised himself from his seat and shuffled, still bent over, to the seats across the aisle, sat down, and SPEWED like no one has ever spewed before. It sounded like someone ripping open a large plastic container and dumping slimey liquid everywhere. It was a sickening noise. Sir, I will FOREVER be grateful that you were decent enough to not throw up on me.
That reminds me of all these other more unsavory characters I meet on the bus all the time.
Who would you rather sit next to on a bus?
- Guy smelling like a thousand cigarettes
- Guy playing on his PSP with the dinky music turned up loud
- Woman yakking nonstop on her phone about pointless gossip
- Baby who won’t stop petting your head (yes, for real)
- Guy shaving with an electric shaver (right in front of me)
- Lady clipping her nails
- Middle-aged guy playing loud music – without headphones
- Drunk guy sleeping on your shoulder….and leaning lower still
Mmmm. Such lovely people. I can’t decide.