This is why I don’t get any dates

Standing at the bus stop on my way to work, some bloke with a thick French accent decided to speak to me.

After exchanging a few words about the whereabouts of our bus, he asked,

“Why is your English so good?”

I’ve been down with a stuffy nose and sore throat. I was in no mood to explain my childhood.

“Because I went to school.”

I said it without thinking and, immediately, decided that I was pretty funny.

I stood there grinning widely at him.


If that isn’t the most inane thing I’ve ever said, I must be delusional.


4 thoughts on “This is why I don’t get any dates

    • Is it? That reminds me of something someone said that should cause even more offense.

      Waiting for the rest of my (mostly expat) hockey teammates to arrive, one of us, a tall English woman, strolls towards us pulling her kit on a metal trolley. Now, any trendy person here with any bit of self-respect wouldn’t be caught dead pulling one of those, for it is the tool of grannies and maids and housewives to go to the market with.

      So one of the other English girls watching, comments with genuine disgust, “Ugh. That looks SO Chinese.”

      I looked at her and said jokingly, “Hey! What are you trying to say about the Chinese?”

      I wasn’t offended. Nor am I now. Parts of me identify with the two different worlds of Hong Kong. Sometimes I am offended. Sometimes I do the offending. I hate how locals here are so rude and superstitious and risk-averse. I don’t understand the Taoist culture/religion and I rebel and refuse to pray to the “God of the Sea/Earth/fillintheblank”. Then I rant against expats who’s lived here for 20 years and not speak a word of Cantonese and does not respect our culture.

      I’m not quite sure what to make of people here. Or perhaps my role here.

      (Wow, I just realised I’ve done a long rant!)

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