Taken towards the end of August, here is what I think is a great photo, except for the very idiotic-looking me in it:
Remember that anyone anywhere can participate, so go ahead, ask Mario to go visit you, or send in your own!
Perhaps as a sign of paranoia of my own voice, I still haven’t been able to bring myself to listen to the audio recording that accompanies it. *cringe*
As he was taking Nasty’s photo, I stood huddling in a corner outside that tube station, trembling in fear of what I was going to say. No one has ever stuck a tape recorder in my face before. I realise that having to blurb out something coherent in one go, especially something personal, while someone stares intently at you in the eye is in fact very intimidating.
Although, at the moment, I feel about 20 miles away from what I felt at the time, not long after that photo was taken, I decided to write this. Perhaps as a reflection of the quote, or of the summer that’s just been, but it better captures my mood in what was just little more than a month ago, than anything I could muster up in my PMS state right now:
Nasty has recently told me that I seem more happy these days.
I asked a friend, and she says the same too.
I hadn’t really noticed, but then I thought about it, and I realise, yeah, I AM quite happy these days. :)
I think for once in my life, I can say that I AM satisfied. I AM happy.
Don’t get me wrong. Nothing’s perfect.
I would rather have a different job. But I am grateful just to have one at all. Memories of unemployment are still too fresh in my mind.
My flat is in quite a state of disrepair. But I do have a front yard I can attack when I have a bad day, or when the sun shines on a Sunday afternoon.
I don’t have Joey or Phoebe as flatmates. But at least they aren’t evil, although not enthusiastic, but friendly and nice.
I still don’t have any real friends. But I’ve somehow settled for what I have right now and have stopped pining for them. I’ll have friends when they come along.
I’ve become good at keeping myself busy. I’ve become good at discovering things to do around town.
I call home once in a while. Sometimes I really do miss the people I love (or maybe just the food).
I am still disgusted with a lot of what I make myself to eat. But I do cook up something brilliant once in a while.
I’ve recently joined a climbing gym and am doing a climbing course. My aim is to do a proper climbing trip outdoors one day.
Eating sushi makes me really happy. Riding my bike makes me happy too. Nasty still thinks farting in an enclosed space is funny. I’ll probably think so too, if I’m the one, erm, contributing.