A prescription for loneliness

My very good friend Cora has recently uprooted from Hong Kong and moved alone to New York City to do her post-doctorate research.

We’ve always had lots to talk about, and now that she’s going through something I’ve been going through, we have even more to discuss.

I’ve found that we both have this overwhelming desire to see someone, or be with someone, familiar.

There are good days, and there are bad. And when things don’t go the way you want them to, you really just need a friendly familiar face.

I’m all for meeting new people and making new friends, but there’s only so much talking to strangers you can do, only so much of introducing yourself you want to do.

Sometimes, you just wanna plop down and yak about random things without having to go through the whole “Hi, I’m Dora. Nice to meet you.”-and-“So what do you do?” phase.

Over the week, I’ve asked a number of friends about meeting people in a new city. It seems like the concensus is that it takes about one year for the average person to get settled and to make any meaningful friendships. It also appears that the older you get, the longer and more effort it takes to meet people. The fact that I’ve been moving around and obsessed about certain things also doesn’t help.

The bad news is: I’ve still got many months to go, and I get so frustrated, I take it out on the only person that I have, which is extremely unfair, and knowing that it’s not right frustrates me even more. I’m sorry.

The good news is: Well, it’s not just me. So I guess there’s nothing wrong with me afterall…

For our predicament: Cora and I are precribing ourselves lots of sleep and lots of exercise. Coincidentally, two days after I bought my bike, Cora got hers for US$60 in NYC! Sleep and bike it is!

As another friend says, projecting negative energy is not gonna draw anyone in!

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2 thoughts on “A prescription for loneliness

  1. Totally know that feeling. At school I tried so hard to make it work, but being unhappy of my situation and generally stressed out made it hard to always be smiling and positive. Sometimes you just wanna vent to people and when you only have your b/f to vent to it can take a toll! Maybe just being completely open with people about how you’re feeling would make them open up a bit more and talk about real stuff aside from work, etc.

  2. Yes, exactly. It’s hard to be all uppy chirpy all the time when you’re not happy with your situation, which perpetuates the cycle even more.

    But it’s also hard to be completely open with certain people, like people at work. I’d always manage to put on a certain more pleasant face at work, but afterwards, I just feel like letting it all out….

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