an empty phone book

It’s been a tiring week. Hadn’t been able to sleep very well since moving into my new place. I kept waking up a couple of times during the night panicking that I need to go to work. I hadn’t grasp the best times to get the bus and all that and kept worrying that I’ll show up late.

Finally, on Friday night, I managed to move my bed around and create space for my desk, then dismantle, move, and reassemble said desk in my room, then unpack and organise everything.

Now that I’m finally settled, I have more time to reflect on things…

Sitting at home one evening, I’ve just realised that all the friends I have are those that I’ve made in school and uni. None I’ve made since I ventured out into the great wide world of work.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve gotten along well enough with people at work. We go out for lunch, sometimes drinks after work and an occasional weekend out somewhere. But once I leave the workplace, contact sort of dwindle down and eventually, all you’re left with is their Facebook page.

Even when I was working with them, our friendsips were not such that when you’re bored on a Saturday afternoon, you’re going to call them up and go “Hey, you bored? Yeah me too. Ok, let’s go to H&M and play with their racks of accessories.”

The thing with school friends is that you all hung out together because you had something in common – you chose each other. But for people at work, you are in a way forced into the friendship.

I’m actually very curious how common this is. Is it just me? Or do most people don’t really develop meaningful friendships once they leave school?

I was hoping that my new permanent flatmates will fill in this gap, if ever just slightly, but I suspect my visions of living a London version of Friends is not really going to happen.

Now that I am in a strange land with a boyfriend who is definitely not interested in hanging out in H&M, I wonder how, and if, I will make any I-can-call-them-up-any-time-and-hang-out-together friends here.

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4 thoughts on “an empty phone book

  1. On the whole this is true for me too, with one exception. A while ago I was working for this insane boss and because he was so insane and we were all so stressed by him, we all bonded so well and became best buddies and hung out together loads.

    Apart from that job, I have not had any real friends since uni. I guess what we need is crazy bosses to drive us together.

  2. I agree with you. I haven’t made any lasting friendships since I graduated from high school- aside from my boyfriend, that is. But he’s pretty much the only person I feel I could talk to on an anytime basis. I do really miss having close friends though. Feels like society is becoming more and more exclusionary even though it’s easier to talk to people now with all the technology we have!

  3. Po, coincidentally, the best time I had with workmates was when we worked for an insane boss too! It was crazy, I worked till midnight, and I was stressed. But looking back now, I also laughed more and shared more and basically bonded more with my workmates.

    But alas, our bonding also lasted just as long as the crazy boss…

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