Sleeping with James Bond – Any takers?

Update: So I did email James Bond afterall, saying I’m some journalist student from South Africa and attaching a photo of some random blond off a dodgy porny site. He emailed back asking for my phone number. Nasty suggested that I give him the number of someone I hate in London, but unfortunately, I don’t know enough people here to hate anyone yet… :)





I was looking around gumtree.com for a new place to stay, when I came across this:




Hi! You can stay at my flat in a highly desirable location in West Central London for FREE. The property is very spacious and comprises of bedroom, bathroom, living area and dining room, is well kitted out (with flat screen tv, sky, wireless internet, etc) and benefits from two nearby parks, as well as all of the amenities of the area. The value of this offer totals over £2000 a month.

What’s the catch?
You will need to be a young attractive girl willing to share a bed with a young attractive guy (please don’t ask me what this means, as I am sure you know). You will also be happy to keep the apartment clean and run the occasional errand.

About me?
I’m in my thirties, am well-educated, sporty, and work in investments. I spend a good deal of time working, and even more travelling. That said, I thoroughly enjoy good company, as well as frequenting the many fine restaurants and clubs London has to offer.

The motivation behind the offer?
My lifestyle makes pleasant, honest, relaxed, and above all, consistent female company hard to come by. Moreover, I need to meet someone different.

If you are interested, get in touch via email, send a photo of yourself with some info, then we’ll possibly arrange to meet and take things from there.

Send your email to JAMESBONDKL@HOTMAIL.COM

Please note due to the large number of replies, if there is no photo and info about you in your email, there will be no reply.




i.e. sleeping with James Bond for free lodgings. Any takers?

I am actually tempted to send in some photo of some naked pornstar as myself just to see what he would say in reply….

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5 thoughts on “Sleeping with James Bond – Any takers?

  1. That’s hilarious! Although in reality he’s probably a serial killer/psychopath.. which isn’t hilarious. You should totally send in a fake picture- it’s too good to pass up, haha :D

    Oh, and if you want to study somewhere, Roehampton might be a good choice for something other than biological sciences (since my teachers are obviously bad). Chris liked his creative writing teachers, but he said that the stuff they taught was just common sense for the most part, and thus not worth the money.

    What sort of stuff would you study if you did go back to school?

    • Aha! I just might! Let’s see what happens…

      Hmmm…what do I want to study? I was thinking about creative writing (but Chris doesn’t seem to have too good an impression about their program huh?) or developmental studies or physiotherapy….

      I know…a wierdly wide range of choices with no common theme whatsoever….if only it was easier! Any of those 3 is good at Roehampton?

  2. oh the nerve of this guy! he wants someone to shag at night, keep the place clean AND run the occasional errand?! does he want a wife? or a maid he can shag?

    yes, go ahead! send in a photo and see if he replies!

  3. Update: So I DID email James Bond after all, saying I’m a journalist student from South Africa and attaching a photo of some random blond off some dodgy porny site.

    He emailed back asking for my phone number.

    Nasty suggested that I give him the number of someone I hate here.

    Unfortunately, I don’t know enough people here to hate anyone yet…

    (On second thought, maybe I could give him the number for Transport for London?!)

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