I see fields of green…red roses too…

Ever since Cora raved about a tarot cards reading she went to, I’ve been playing with the idea of doing one myself too. Just for the heck of it.

But then I realize I probably wouldn’t know how to handle it if they give me bad news, so I figured I’ll stay away.

Besides, I’ve been getting free readings from everyone else I’ve been seeing:

“I think you should stay.”

“You’re gonna get married and have kids!”

“Be very very careful. You’re staying in East London right?”


“Hong Kong is so much better.”

“I think you’re gonna have a great time! London is fabulous!”

“wink wink*

“There are a lot of stabbings. The crime rate is high.”

“Remember to invite us to the wedding!”

“Ah, no worries, I’m sure you’ll find something!”

“Too bad you’re going now. With the financial crisis, everyone is unemployed.”

“Yes, it’s an adventure, and I’m very happy for you.”

“Are you gonna be ok?”

I have friends after money. I have friends after a career. I have friends after a family. And as I sit through dinner with these people, we have nothing to say to each other. And some of these people, I don’t care if I ever see again.

I don’t mind if we are not in agreement. But I mind that you try to put me down.

Money Career Family. Money Career Family. Money Career Family.

To me, there is also

Myself. My Hopes And Dreams. Uncertainty. Adventure. Travel. Change. Of Life. Of Pace. Of Environment. Exploration. Discovery. Myself. My Hopes And Dreams.

If anything, I am happy for them. She knows she wants the money. She knows she wants the job. She knows she wants her family.

Perhaps it’s sad. That I don’t know what I want.

But you know what? I see it as an opportunity, and I’m taking it.

(But that doesn’t mean I’m not scared.)

7 thoughts on “I see fields of green…red roses too…

  1. I got a lot of shit thrown at me for wanting to study in England, and even when I wanted to go visit my boyfriend in Sweden for 3 months prior to that. It sucks when ‘friends’ and family can’t look past their own reservations to realize that you’re doing something that makes you happy.

  2. *sigh* My parents are definitely NOT pleased about this whole thing. But they seem to be coming round lately though. I guess they can’t stay mad at me forever. But yes, it’s hard. To decide on something so big and important, and not have the support of those most you treasure most.

    Other people? Well fuck them. I hope they are happy.

  3. your last little quiet sentence in brackets… well, it kinda wanted me to give you a big motherbear-hug :) No, it’s not gonna be a bed of roses all the time but you will have the experience of your life, the sense of achievement for succeeding despite the difficulties and a priceless pride for having followed your dream :) i did exactly that 4 years ago and i never regretted a minute of it. and guess what: my parents never stopped loving and supporting me despite all the parental fights.

  4. people said the same kinda things to me to discourage me from having my son.

    even though it’s waaaay more hard work than i ever expected, i have never been more filled with love and contentment – my baby makes me happy – makes me glad I didn’t listen to all those people who told me I couldn’t do it…

    Go you.

    You deserve happiness.

  5. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!

    And then there’s that saying: Anything worth doing is tough.

    Sometimes, we just have to put our foot down, even if it means going against the wind. Those who love you enough, they will eventually come round.

    Go you too.

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