If you’re Chinese and you marry a black man, this is what your relatives say behind your back

I picked up the ringing phone. It’s my ~60 years old aunt calling from Toronto.

I answered loudly in the direction of my mom, “Oh hi BIG AUNTIE! How’s TORONTO?”

My mom waved her arms wildly in front of her and ran into her bedroom to hide, as if Big Auntie just might jump out of the receiver any moment and find her standing there when I’m about to tell her that she’s not.

Realizing that my mom is not home/asleep (I forgot which lie I told), Big Auntie, my mom’s eldest sister, began chatting to me.

You’ll soon realize why my mom ran away.

“You know, Dora, you should come to Canada. You should immigrate to Canada, find a job and settle down here. I can’t believe your parents have declined to come!”

“Well, Big Auntie, what am I gonna do in Canada?”

“Oh, there are lots to do! You can study! You can find a job! It’s all very easy and nice here! You know what? You should come and study to be a social worker! The social workers here are very nice!”

I grunted. I forgot what. “Well, what are my parents going to do in Canada then? My father doesn’t speak English, so I don’t think he’ll enjoy it very much.”

“Oh, it’s ok! He can come here and learn! Your mom can help him! There are lots of activities here!”

“Well, how do you suppose we come to Canada? How do you suppose we’ll be able to move there?”

“It’s easy! You just need to have enough money and apply! EVERYTHING’s better over here!”

Enough of the immigration nonsense. One of the things I hate about some Canadians/Americans/people from whatever more “advanced Western” country, whether they are native or immigrants or not, is that they think they are superior and that the whole world would wanna move to their country no questions asked.

A friend of mine met an American once, and in talking casually about dating and what might happen in the future, he said something to the effect of: “Well, if you come over and we get married, I can get you a Green Card!”

I took big offense at that. What makes him think we want a Green Card? What makes him think we wanna move to the US? What makes him think that that will entice someone to get into a relationship with you? Arrogant. Pompous. Arse.

Anyways, I digress.

“Well, Auntie, we are doing perfectly fine here and we really don’t see a reason to uproot and move.”

Big Auntie and I moved onto another subject.

“You know, your cousin married that no-good husband!”

My cousin married a black man.

“Oh?! Why is he no-good?”

“Because he’s BLACK! Nine times out of 10, black people are up to no good!”

“Hmm…I’ve met him once and he seemed very nice! He’s handsome, has a respectable job, a house (and all those other things the Chinese judge a successful person). If he treats her well, and they love each other, I don’t see anything wrong with him.”

“Of course I HOPE he treats her well! I love her the most you know! I watched her grow up! And now she marries that black man! And she doesn’t go visit her parents anymore!”

“Well, if she doesn’t go visit her parents anymore, then that’s her fault isn’t it? If she really wants to go visit them, I don’t think her husband could stop her right?”

“Yeah, whatever. And now that black woman that is his mother has moved in to live with them!”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“That black woman is up to no good!”

“Yeah? How? In what way?”

“What do you mean how? She’s BLACK! That’s how they are! And now she lives with them!”

O.M.G.

We somehow managed to change subjects.

“So what are you doing now for work?”

“Oh, I work in an office, for a drug company.”

“Ahh…that’s good! Very respectable! See? That’s how it should be. You find a good job, and you stay there and earn some money. Then, over time, when they trust you and see that you do a good job, they will promote you.”

“Yep.”

I conveniently forgot to tell her how I’ve just quit the job and how I’m going to London

*

Talking about London, you should check out these aerial photos of night-time London. Breathtaking views and outstanding photography.

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6 thoughts on “If you’re Chinese and you marry a black man, this is what your relatives say behind your back

  1. Hahahahaha….hilarious! I’ve never heard of that before!

    Come to think about it, have you ever wondered what other people would say of the Chinese if a non-Chinese marries us?

    Like, I wonder if my cousin’s in-laws have any comments of him marrying a Chinese?

    Or that Indian’s family, did they have any comments about you? Hahahaha…

    Actually, what ARE the stereotypical (negative) views of the Chinese?

  2. Marry a Chinese! And she’s gonna empty your bank account and run back to China to feed her 16 cousins!

    Marry a Chinese! And she’s gonna obtain her Green Card and then divorce you!

    Marry a Chinese! She’s gonna engage your brothers in a business deal and swindle all their money!

    Hahahah…

  3. Funny story that one! (in a sad way of course :) Here is my secret then: I have been dating a (white) South African since last year. I told my Mom and her reaction was also “the thing I least needed – you dating a black man!”. I told my best friend who since then has been calling the guy Nigga to his face. Funny thing is, my “black” boyfriend happens to be ginger haired and whiter than me. I have been sharing very little about our relationship with my Mom since the outburst….

  4. :( Yes, that is sad. My mom does that all the time too. Make presumptions before they hear the whole story. It pisses me off so much. But I realize it’s easier to let it go for a while…everyone calm down and then you go back and try dropping little tidbits about him once in a while. Sort of “ease” them into it. Haha…

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