Blinkered

These days, I live as if I’m blinkered.

 

Like those race horses, who are only able to look ahead.

They can only go one place: the track ahead.

There are no options, no choices. There are no discussions with the rider about how ’bout that other way? There are no glancing at their next door horses about whether they should really run.

They see the track, the gates open, and out they go.

That is essentially me these days.

 

Don’t ask me why I’m quiting; why I’m leaving; or what I will do for work.

I’m blinkered. I see only this track in front of me, there’s no other way, and that’s where I’m going.

There are no longer lengthy explanations; or discussions on the why, how and what.

The horses don’t discuss.

 

Occasionally, my blinkers come off for a second, and I become distressed.

Like the horse that suddenly sees the audience, the other horses, the other riders.

And it loses track of where it was going in the first place and starts spinning around in circles.

Like yesterday someone told me that all his friends came back to Hong Kong because London was too expensive for them to survive.

 

My blinkers came off, and I started panicking.

The horse suddenly sees a way to backtrack.

I put them back on.

 

I’ve just switched the majority of my savings into Great Kingdom Pounds.

I hold on to my blinkers. I stay on track.

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One thought on “Blinkered

  1. Pingback: November 3, 2008 « Carebear in Crazyland!

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