The people behind the counter? They’re not aliens enslaved on Earth to serve you. They’re just like you.
To make the world a better place, besides from reading Why Men Don’t Listen and Women Can’t Read Maps, I suggest everyone work for a period of time behind a counter.
Otherwise, you would behave like this:
- It surprises you that we actually need time to process your order.
- You stare at us and tap your fingers on the counter while you wait. Believe me, your order doesn’t come out any faster and we’ll just call you a bitch after you’ve left.
When you find out that we don’t accept credit cards, you rant: “This is outrageous! When are you getting it then? Huh? Well, this is the 21st century you know! Is that the owner? Right, I’m going to talk to the owner!”
Really, we just make the coffee, serve you the cakes and give you your change as best we could, as fast as we could and with as big a smile as we could. We don’t control business development. Talk to the boss, we don’t care. We’ll just call you an asshole afterwards.
- You let your kids spill cake all over the couches and then let them stomp all over them in their shoes. Oh of course, we don’t mind at all! I mean, how cute is that right? It’s totally worth trying to scrape out all the chocolate pressed into the cloth and creases afterwards. Really.
- We spend precious time packing your order to go, with boxes and paper bags and fancy little stickers, and you just promptly prop down at a table, rip everything open and eat right there.
- You leave your kids in the play area, come back after we’ve closed and ask me where your kids are. Do I look like your babysitter?
- You think people behind the counter knows what the products taste like. Most of the time, for most items, we don’t.