The upsides to eating lunch alone

  1. You can bypass all the crowds and queues amassing in front of feeding places by just walking up to the counter, raising one finger (index, of course) and you’d be shown immediately to your seat. (Suckers eating in groups of 2 or more get a numbered ticket and an exciting half-hour wait.)

  3. You can eat the same $22 noodles 5 days a week if you want. But mostly because you need to skimp and save up.

  5. Likewise, you don’t have to pay $25 for a tiny slice of pizza that doesn’t fill you up when you really don’t want to.

  7. There is no 10 minute discussion of where to eat while waiting for and going down in the lift.

  9. You don’t have to sit there facing someone trying  to smile and think of appropriate small talk when all you want is to a) play sudoku on your phone, b) catch up on reading, c) rest your chin on your palms and stare into space.

  11. You don’t have to spend another 15 minutes agonizingly waiting for your slow-eating companion to finish their meal (while continuing to think of appropriate small-talk).

  13. You don’t have to eat while trying very hard to politely and discreetly advert your eyes so you’re not looking at the contents of a full talking spitting mouth.

  15. You don’t have to share your chicken wings in swiss sauce if you don’t want to.

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